


Something Like Peace

by Takada_Saiko



Series: Truth in the Lies [11]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Tom/Liz, choosing to trust, working through emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takada_Saiko/pseuds/Takada_Saiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't know how to handle the feeling of drowning any better than she does, but maybe together they can at least keep from losing it.<br/>In which Tom calls Liz and Liz doesn't mind as much as she probably should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Like Peace

_And I was there when three months later_

_You were standing in the door_

_All beat and tired_

_And I stepped aside_

~ Always Gold by Radical Face

**Something Like Peace**

The city was never quite truly asleep, but at two in the morning it was quieter. Quiet enough that the sound of his running shoes hitting the pavement could actually be heard and the music that blared in his ears was loud enough that passerbyers - if there had been any - might have been able to identify the song. None of it helped though, and he knew that no matter how exhausted he was, no matter how he pushed his body to the brink, his mind wouldn't let him sleep. He would go back to the motel he had crashed in that night and stare at the ceiling. Even if he were lucky enough for his eyes to close for a few minutes, it wouldn't last. All he would see was her.

Tom slowed his pace, breathing hard. The air was cool, but warming towards spring. The cherry blossoms would bud and bloom, brightening up the mall for the tourists and those that lived there. He had expected to be in Germany still, not here, but Liz had needed him. He hadn't been able to say no and stick to it.

_Don't tell me that girl got to you._

She had. He knew that now. He didn't know how or why, but Elizabeth Scott Keen was at the forefront of his thoughts more than he was comfortable with. Now, after abandoning a contract, he was burnt. Bill was furious, and he'd be lucky if he ever worked again.

He'd be lucky if he survived the ordeal.

Somehow that didn't seem to matter as much as it should. Liz was safe. She would be okay, even if she didn't know it. She had always felt so deeply, so fully. It was something Tom didn't understand, but it drew him in. He cared about her. It didn't matter how hard he fought that, there was no denying it. Even he wasn't that good of a liar. Not after being willing to give everything to save her. Even after everything that had happened.

Tom leaned against the railing and looked tiredly down the stretch of grass. He should leave, but he knew he couldn't. He should forget her, but he didn't want to. It was both terrifying and strangely calming all at once.

He felt like he might drown beneath it all.

The phone was ringing before his sleep-deprived mind realized he'd dialed her number. It was the middle of the night. He wasn't going to reach her. She would be sleeping, and if she did answer she was going to be pissed that he'd woken her.

He was ready to hang up when the call connected and a surprisingly awake voice answered "Keen" on the other end.

"Hey," he said, his voice rough and still a little breathless from the run. "It's me."

A moment ticked by in silence. "You okay? You sound out of breath."

"Just out for a run."

"At... Two AM?"

He shrugged, the motion automatic. "Couldn't sleep."

"So you thought you'd wake me up too?" She didn't sound entirely upset, but she wasn't teasing either.

"You sound like you were awake."

"Unless you're watching me, you wouldn't know that before you called."

"I'm not watching you, Liz," he promised.

There were another few beats of silence before she sighed. "Why are you calling me, Tom?"

That was the question, wasn't it? After all the lies, she deserved a little truth. "I needed to hear your voice," he murmured, voice soft and halted. Silence followed and he thought she might have disconnected the call. "Liz?"

"I'm here," she answered. "Where are you?"

"Doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Are you in town?"

He loosed a breath, squeezing his eyes shut. "Yes."

The sound of clicking filled his ear and the phone buzzed softly. He pulled it away to see the name of a motel and a room number flicker across the screen. "Tom?"

"Still here," he answered.

"It’s your call. Come or don’t," Liz said simply and the phone went dead.

Tom blinked at the screen and his lips thinned and twitched downward. He hadn't expected an invitation to wherever she was staying these days, and everything in him screamed caution. This was the woman he had lied to and fallen for. The woman that shot him, held him hostage, and levied his health for information. This was Liz. The woman he'd been willing to give everything to make sure she was okay.

Tom stuck the earbuds back into his ears and clicked the play button as he finished his run. He would either end up there or he wouldn't, he told himself, even though he knew exactly where his feet would take him.

* * *

It had been impulsive. She shouldn't have told him where she was staying. It was an invitation and they both knew it, and one that she shouldn't have extended. She was a federal agent and he was... She didn't even know, really. He called himself an operative, but everything he said was up for scrutiny.

His actions, though, with nothing to gain personally, were something else entirely. Liz had been shocked to see him walk through that courtroom door. Red and Ressler hadn't dragged him back by force, so she had resigned herself to the fact that he was leaving her to rot. She wasn't sure she blamed him, after everything. Despite everything, she hadn’t wanted to see him spend the rest of his life in prison either.

But he'd been there, hair buzzed shorter than she'd ever seen and that guarded expression in his eyes. He had looked at her and she hadn't known how to feel. Grateful? Impressed? Angry? There were too many emotions to work through in one lifetime, but he was still in DC and there had to be a reason that he was awake at that hour too. There had to be a reason he couldn’t let go.  He wasn't the man she had thought he was, but she didn't think she was that woman anymore either. Too much had happened, and if she wasn't careful, she would lose everything that made her Elizabeth Keen.

If she wanted to admit it or not, Tom was part of her life. Dead or alive, near or far, they would always be linked. It was time to face that.

Liz sighed as she glanced at the digital clock by the bed. It had been nearly an hour since they had spoken and she was starting to think he wouldn't show. Sleep wasn't happening that night, so she had pulled case files out to work through, but even that wasn't providing the distraction she needed. She found herself continuously looking at the door and waiting for a knock.

Funny, she thought, that she'd spent so many sleepless nights terrified Tom would show up on her doorstep and here she'd invited the man. This was utterly insane.

The soft tap at the door made her jump and she was on her feet, her robe pulled tightly around her and she peeked out the peephole. Tom stood in the doorstep in the light rain, hood pulled up around his face and hands stuffed in his pockets. His eyes were trained on his shoes and he looked ready to bolt at just the wrong noise.

Liz pulled in a deep breath and opened it, instantly gaining his full attention.

"Hey," he greeted.

"I was about ready to think you weren't coming."

His lips twitched down and he looked like every muscle might be tensed.

"I wasn't entirely sure until I got here. Took the long way around."

She motioned for him to come in, and as he did he pulled the hood back and looked around. As he studied the place where she slept and stored the few things she still owned, she studied him. She hadn't seen him since the courtroom, even if they had had a few brief phone conversations. He had lost weight and there were deep circles under his eyes that spoke of bad sleep. He hardly looked like the man she had married with the half-removed tattoo on his neck and the strange look in his eyes, like the swirl of emotion was dragging him under too. He seemed to know less how to handle it than she did.

"I'm sorry," he said abruptly.

"I wasn't sleeping anyway," she answered with a shrug and moved to put away her files.

"I mean for this.” He motioned to the room, as if referring to the life she was living. “For everything."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and straightened, not missing the way he flinched very slightly. "We both did a lot of damage," she admitted.

He turned, blue eyes focused intently on her and she felt her breath catch a little. Yes, they were both damaged and lying in pieces on the floor, but she couldn't ignore that he'd come back for her. He'd risked everything. For her. He had chosen her.

"Thank you," Liz said, using the emotion rolling through her to give her the courage she needed. "You didn't have to come back for me."

He blinked and his gaze darted to look anywhere but her eyes. He looked exhausted and worn thin, like he was just shy of an utter and complete breakdown. "Yes I did," he said at last and he took a step closer to her. "I can't get you out of my head. I keep... trying. It's not working."

Liz looked up at him and they were standing closer than they had been in a long time. "Tom, are you sleeping at all?"

"Some."

She frowned and slowly, carefully reached forward. He caught the movement and stood still as a statue, watching her carefully as the tips of her fingers brushed his cheek and the movement felt familiar. How many times had they been this close without fear?

"You're a little warm," Liz said softly.

"I told you I've been running," he offered, but she didn't think that was it. He was worn down and hadn't taken care of himself.

"You need sleep."

He gave a mirthless chuckle and pulled away. Whatever he'd been about to say was swallowed, though, as she spoke again, more open than she'd given herself permission to be. "Do you dream?"

"Nightmares, mostly," he admitted in a whisper.

"Me too."

He might not have been the Tom she had thought that she knew, but as if on instinct he reached out and wrapped strong arms around her just as he had so many times before. She didn't fight it as he pulled her in, chin resting against her head and her face buried in his shoulder. She returned the embrace, arms locked tightly around his middle, and she didn't want to let go.

There were no promises of going back or even going forward, because they would have been fools to make them. Too much had happened and things were far too uncertain, but at least for a few hours they had something like peace. She wasn't afraid of him, even if somewhere in her mind she knew how dangerous he really was. For a few hours he was just Tom, curled up with her on the bed, his arms wrapped around her and her cheek pressed against his chest and the nightmares were held at bay.

* * *

Notes: I was absurdly excited about last night's episode. Tom chose to go back for her, even if it puts him in all sorts of trouble. The looks between those two were just fantastic. There's so much there and so much to come. Excuse me as I continue to fangirl about it.

I keep wanting to go back and write some pre-season 1 stuff or at least scenes from before his cover is blown with Liz, but that episode has all the plot bunnies biting for this type of stuff. I'm actually tossing around a conversation between Tom and Ressler next. I really want to see those two butt heads.

Someone asked about a short including the time that she drew the heart on his shoe (that he talks about while she's interrogating him in their home) and someone else wanted to see Tom meeting Sam for the first time. If you have any other scenes that you'd like to see, let me know!

Also, in general, these are mostly connected. I may continue on with the premise from the last chapter (Peace Offerings) here and there as long as cannon doesn't blow it out out of the water. I love the idea of the Major blaming Liz directly for Tom coming back and that, in turn, putting her in danger and pitting Tom even more against Bill. If the show doesn't go that direction, I might end up writing a multi-chapter for it. Who knows? We'll see.

********  
  



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